Debrief: The Morning After
by Miss Romance-Lover
Summary: Post-finale. Rae wakes up beside Finn the morning after finally sharing her body with him.


Debrief: The Morning After

It was nearly seven o'clock in the morning when Rae stirred from the most peaceful sleep she had ever experienced. In the first few seconds after opening her eyes, she couldn't quite remember why she was grinning like an idiot.

And then she turned her head and saw him lying there beside her. _Finn_.

They'd actually _done it_. She had spent what felt like an age (but was actually only about five months) fantasising about what it would be like to have sex with Finn Nelson, and now here she was, waking up beside him hours later.

She couldn't believe she had conquered her fear. She had actually been naked in front of another person. She suspected, though, that this development had less to do with strength on her part, and more to do with the fact that the one she'd been naked with was Finn. The way he had looked at her as, together, they had shed her dressing gown from her body - she had felt every ounce of fear ebbing away underneath his loving gaze.

It was funny, Rae's thoughts on sex up until last night had mostly stemmed from her teenage hormones.

_"I want him to go down on me for so long that he has to evolve gills"_

_"Just let him whack it in ya"_

But all those raunchy thoughts had barely crossed her mind when she'd been standing in front of him, ready to reveal all of herself to him. She had still _wanted _him, of course; where he was concerned Rae doubted that was a feeling that would ever change. The difference was that the 'want' now went far beyond Finn's perfect arse. When he'd kissed her before leading her over to the bed, she had felt connected to him. Emotionally _and _physically.

She shook her head, almost laughing at herself. She was starting to think like a therapist. If someone had spouted all this stuff about emotional connections to her a few months back, she'd have called it total bollocks.

"Something funny, girl?"

Rae was jolted by the sound of his husky, just-awake voice. The return of his name for her did not go unnoticed, and her amused expression switched back to a beam of delight.

Finn propped himself up on the bed by his elbow. "What're you smiling at?"

"You." Her smile lessened somewhat when she thought about how close she came to never having a moment like this with him. "I missed you."

"I missed you more," he replied with quiet conviction, finding her hand under the covers and giving it a gentle squeeze. Her initial happiness returned in an instant.

"Now don't start that argument," she teased of his comment. "We'll be here all day and you'd never win."

"Here all day, hmm?" he said, using his other hand to brush the stray hairs from her eyes. "I'd be up for that."

Giggling at his suggestion, Rae leaned across the bed to kiss him. It was usually Finn that went to kiss her first, but she was no longer self-conscious around him and she wanted to show him that. Even though she was confident that last night had already more than done the job.

"Finn?"

"Rae," he replied, causing her to roll her eyes at his playful manner.

She took a deep breath and clung onto her new-found courage. She wished she could bask forever in this bubble they'd created, but that wasn't real life and she knew it. "I just…what I said last night at the pub. I know it was bollocks. We _do _need to talk. There's a lot I need to say. A lot I need you to know."

"Okay."

"Just 'okay'?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "You should be really pissed off with me. I mean, even _I'm _pissed off with myself!"

"Oh Rae, I _am,_" he chuckled. "If anyone else had come into my life and broken my heart the way you did, I'd never want to talk to them again. But I couldn't give up on you - even if I did move to Leeds. I was hoping you'd call when I sent that letter."

"I broke your heart?" she whispered, still disbelieving despite all the evidence she'd seen of how he felt about her. She had always resigned herself to the belief that she could never effect any guy enough for them to feel that way.

The look in Finn's eye gave her her answer.

"I'm sorry," she said, forcing herself to look him in the eye. It was the least he deserved. "I can explain why I did it, but it'll sound pathetic."

He held her face in his hands and there was that look again, the one he'd given her right before that first luxurious kiss the night before.

"You're not pathetic. You're a bit daft, because you obviously thought you were doing me some kind of ridiculous favour by breaking up with me. But just so you know it for certain, I was bloody miserable without you."

"Me too," Rae breathed out, surprised at the depth of this heart to heart when she hadn't even explained herself yet. "How did you know that's what I thought?"

"Well, I didn't at first. I think it finally hit me when we were at the hospital. You were totally giving up on yourself and I just couldn't have that."

She marvelled at the way he seemed to understand her. Letting the feeling wash over her, she thought back on his words from that day. "What you said, you know, about why you liked me…you have no idea what that did for me, Finn."

His face seemed to imply that he did know, but instead of telling her so, he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. "What time is it?" He asked then. She reached over to her bedside table, where his discarded watch was sitting, and told him what it said.

"That early, really?" He rubbed absently at his face. "I thought we'd slept in!"

"We still can, if you want," she grinned. "Mum and Karim are at the hospital with the baby until later."

Finn sighed, flopping back onto the pillows. Rae went to make herself comfortable beside his warm body but straightened suddenly when she felt her stomach rumble. She was going to have to get some breakfast. Which meant taking her morning medication at the same time, since some of the pills had to be taken with food.

"Fancy a brew and some toast?" she offered, sitting up on the bed. "I'm wide awake now anyway."

"Me too," he agreed. "Look, I'll make it, you stay here."

She was nearly tempted to take him up on the offer. "Thanks, but it's alright. I er…I left my tablets downstairs, so."

He nodded, looking as though he would be just as happy to go and get them for her, but staying put all the same. He appeared to understand that she still needed to keep some personal aspects of her life separate, and she loved him even more for it.

"I'll be back in a bit and we can talk properly, yeah?"

"There's no rush, Rae. Take your time."

"With the breakfast, or my explanation?"

"Both," he twinkled. "I feel like I know you better than I did before I ran way to Leeds. You don't need to worry about what I'm going to think of you any more, okay? I should have picked my words better back then, got rid of all your doubts straight away."

"And I should have let you in a bit more instead of taking the easy way out. Doesn't matter any more though, does it?"

"No," Finn answered, kissing her once more before she could rise from the bed. "It doesn't."

As Rae floated down the stairs, she felt lighter than her own body. She wasn't deluded; she knew she couldn't consider herself 'fixed' yet, and maybe she never would be. Not fully, anyway. But she had a man's unconditional love on her side, and that sounded like a pretty good start to her.


End file.
